Begin Your Hero's Journey

Search for meaning? Search for consciousness? I suppose my story began when I was born. Possibly even before that. The meaning of life was that spark I always hoped to find in a book, in a story, from conversations. The mystery of the consciousness drew me in, but I resisted. I resisted because it was embedded in me that these stories were not significant. The media, family, friends (most, not all) were leading me in the direction of a different life. The life I did not want. The phrase I heard more often than it needed to be said was, “You are not interested in anything.” This was far from the truth. I was a curious child, but I was not curious about business, “buying and selling” type jobs, accounting, or any other industrial classic of the modern 9 to 5. It was not that I did not want to work either I just refused to be miserable. 

The idea was seeded into me that my interests were not of importance. You are what you think. I am convinced of it. Thus, if I believed that my passions were not going to build a stable future, then they would not. It has been proven by science and has been stated over and over again by the most successful people in the world. If the interest that brought me joy could not become my everyday work, then I was doomed to failure. In any other endeavour, I lacked the persistence to make it into a talent. It is not uncommon. It is likely that you, reading this right now have felt the same way at some point. 

I sailed through life to an island I had no enthusiasm for finding and no map to follow. I had to hit a storm and nearly drown to realise I was going the wrong way. In fact, it was a path downward not forward. Chronic depression, anorexia, anxiety and other such symptoms of unhappiness were signals that were screaming to me - STOP. Turn around you are going the wrong way. The symptoms were getting louder and reflected in the everyday. Something had to change.

The search for healing became my saving grace. The medicine from misery became the meaning of my life. I understood that I was depressed because I was avoiding doing what my soul came here to do. I was hiding from my purpose. I threw away the meaning of life into the pit of hellfires because my loved ones were worried that it would be me who would end up in those hellfires. They were not conscious of the fact that by reducing a person to a safety net they were suffocating the one they were trying to protect. I think the word for it is, smother. 

Then I found it: the lifeboat that promised hope filled with people that spoke the messages I always knew deep down. Do what you love, and the universe will reward you. There was a lot more to it, that rabbit hole I used to glimpse at but was too afraid to dive. Once I jumped into the tunnel of universal freedom, there was no going back. I did not want to go back. My life began to unfold. It was not always easy. As soon as I would open my mouth about what I was perusing to the once I left on the shores of my origins, I looked crazy. They told me I had lost it. The rush of happiness that sobers you to Who You Are is worth all the monsters on the way. The monsters bring colour to the adventures if finding meaning. They make you stronger and happier when you overcome them. They are tremendous teachers, and you must be educated. The dragons that you slay define your hero’s journey. This one is mine, what’s yours? 

Anastasiia Ryzhkova